The Things I Think About When I Cant Sleep

So I’m not a good sleeper.  I suppose I never have been.

While the rest of you (well, maybe not the menopausal in the group)…are sound asleep, I am awake.  Fully awake…at 3 am. expecting the birds to be singing and the coffee to be brewing. Of course, none of this happens at 3 am.  It’s just me and my thoughts.  Typically, I’m wrapped up in a blanket, still in my nightgown (yes, I wear a nightgown)…waiting….waiting for inspiration to strike.

What most of you do know about me is that I’m a woman entrepreneur.  I’ve been working at growing Allure for 11 years now, with the help of The Man Behind The Curtain, my sweetheart husband, Peter.  What almost none of you know, is who I am, REALLY. The woman behind the idea of great bras and underwear and incredible (hopefully) service in my stores….is not all there is to me.

I’m the mother of three teenagers (that right there should make you feel a little mercy for me) and we also live with and care for my husbands 91 year old grandfather.

The other night Grandpa and I were talking and he was saying how much easier and simpler life was when he and his wife were raising their kids.  He went to work as a family doctor and she stayed home and was the Sargent (that’s what he called her) on the home-front.  Their roles were very clearly defined and it worked out beautifully.  They’ll be married 71 years in May….and although she’s now living in a home for Alzheimer’s patients, they still see each other every day.  Every.  Day.

This conversation was what got me thinking.  How many of you are doing double and triple duty by being mothers, caregivers, and professionals all simultaneously?  Are you as tired as me?  Are we really so clever to think we can be superwomen and do it all?

And another thing…who put this in our heads?  Was it our mothers who thought we could break out of that very defined ‘role’ and have a more fulfilled life?  Was it the feminist movement, who wanted us to realize our full potential as human people; worthy of the same opportunities and pay as our male counterparts?  Was it the media whose agenda it was to sell magazines?  Who told us that we had to be Superwoman?  Why was it so easy to believe and so hard to actually achieve?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining to you about my circumstances.  I love that I’m a mother, and I love that I get to work side by side with my husband all day on a business that we’re both so passionate about, and I love my 91 year old roommate. I’m just laying here wondering how many of you are out there thinking the same thing. am I going to do it all today with no sleep?

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